he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize