I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
