I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
ttyl tear gas
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
