it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
