On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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