I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
