she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it hurts more in the daytime
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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