suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
