My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
