Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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