Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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