i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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