who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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