No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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