so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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