You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
