Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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