I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
