you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
