Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize