my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
