his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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