i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You are the jesus of drinking
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
