I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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