Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
