Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
