my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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