we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
