drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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