Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
