i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
