Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You took a bar mat shot.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
