I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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