break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
