My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
worst night to have a conscience
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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