He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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