if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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