is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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