I wannas sexs uuuuu
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Randomize
