we have officially lost it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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