I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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