why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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