I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
