So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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