Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
