Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
