Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
