I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
