New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
