it's too hot outside to masturbate.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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