White coat. Heels.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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