yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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