I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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