She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
