It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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