Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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