AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
