He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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