so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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