you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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