I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
