you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
