white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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