I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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