It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I AM VODKA MAN
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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