I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
