I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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