I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
